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Playing With Fire - Week 06 - Group Discussion Guide

Posted by CF Study Guide Team on

If your group is mixed gender, this week we recommend that your group split up to have same-gender conversations around the topic of pornography.

BEFORE YOU GATHER

  • Familiarize yourself with this Group Discussion Guide
  • If you missed it, CLICK HERE to watch the weekend sermon
  • Read Psalm 119:110, Proverbs 3:26, John 5:2-8, and Ezekiel 36:26-27.
  • CLICK HERE to see the overall structure of the biblical book of Proverbs.
  • Sit in prayerful silence with God for a while, and ask the Holy Spirit if there is anything that he wants you to share during your group’s time together.

 

RESOURCES FOR A PERSONAL RESPONSE
Every week, we’ll suggest some resources that can help you and others pursue a life of wholeness, transparency, recovery, and healing.

  • LEARN BY READING:
    • (For Men) Pure Eyes: A Man’s Guide to Sexual Integrity, by Craig Gross and Steven Luff
    • (For Women) Pure Heart: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Integrity, by Shellie R. Warren
    • (For Couples) Every Heart Restored: A Wife’s Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband’s Sexual Sin, by Fred and Brenda Stoeker
    • (For Couples) Love you, Hate the Porn, by Mark Chamberlain, PhD and Geoff Steurer, LMFT
    • (For Finding a Better Image of What God is Like) Abba's Child, by Brennan Manning 
  • LEARN BY SEEING: Fireproof (movie)
  • LEARN BY DOING:
    • E-mail Cornerstone's Care Team for confidential help finding resources and next steps for your recovery:
    • Visit www.cornerstoneweb.org for more personal and parental resources
    • Community Presbyterian Counseling Center in Danville has a sexual recovery program
    • Betrayal Care is a support group for women who have a spouse with a sexual addiction. It meets Tuesdays from 7-9pm at CPC in Danville.
      • CALL: Linda Mayfield at (925) 735-7745 

If your group is mixed gender, this week we recommend that your group split up to have same-gender conversations around the topic of pornography.

GROUP DISCUSSION

Opening Prayer: (1-5 minutes)
In light of what God is saying through this week’s message, here’s some suggestions of how your group can invite God into your time together.

Pray that this would be a safe space, free of judgement, and full of grace.  Pray for the courage to have a deep, meaningful, and honest conversation, even if it is difficult or uncomfortable.  Pray for understanding and wisdom in how to approach the topic of secret sin and pornography.

If your group is mixed gender, at this point in your gathered time, we recommend that your group split up to have same-gender conversations around the topic of pornography.

 

Quick Connection: (5 minutes)
Have everyone take 30 seconds each to share a phrase or a moment from this weekend’s message that is still resonating with them. You also have the option to say “Pass.”

Large Group Discussion: (30 minutes)
This weekend’s message came from Psalm 119:110, Proverbs 3:26, John 5:2-8, and Ezekiel 36:26-27. If everyone has a Bible, let's go there together.

  • Debbie described how pervasive and acceptable pornography has become now that technology has enabled it to be accessible, affordable, and anonymous.  Were you surprised by any of the statistics or statements in this regard?  In what ways have you noticed that our culture has over-sexualized everything?
  • It can be easy to think that hidden sin is “victimless”.  However, in Psalm 119:110 and Proverbs 3:26, sin is described as a snare or trap. What are some of the unexpected ways that hidden sin ensnares people, relationships, or perceptions?    
  • In John 5:2-8, Jesus asked the paralyzed man, “Do you want to get well?”  Why is it important that we need to want the change?  How can our sin form ruts in our lives that are hard to change?  What uncomfortable changes will possibly come along with a healed life?
  • Becky Fitch described how to respond when having the difficult conversation about relationship damaging lies and pornography.  How can our response in the moment help our friends and loved ones in their healing process?  What does it mean to resolve to be their ally?  Does it help to understand that our triggers may not have anything to do with our spouse? 
  • What are some practical guard rails you have already put up (or now intend to put up) to protect yourself, your marriage, or your children from the affects of pornography? How do you need help from this group to live this out?
  • If this issue is pervasive in your group, consider choosing one of the recommended books from the RESOURCES section and having a same-gender meet up at another time during the week. Go through the book - one chapter at a time - and apply the next steps as they show up in the book.
  • Beyond practical strategies, Ezekiel 36:26-27 describes a heart transplant that only God can provide.  In Romans 8:26-27 it describes how the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with wordless groans.  What has this transformative experience of God been like for you, or is this something you want to experience?  How can we invite the indwelling life of the Holy Spirit? How is the Spirit our hope of present and future regeneration?
  • Andrew described how recovery can only go as far as our image of God.  In Luke 15:2 the Pharisees complained that Jesus “welcomes sinners and eats with them.”  How does it give us hope that we are both fully known and fully loved by God, in our current condition?

CLOSING PRAYER (5-15 minutes):
In light of what God is saying through this week’s message, here’s some suggestions of what your group could talk about with God in prayer.

Pray for those struggling with pornography right now.  Ask God to bring transformation and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.  Pray that God would protect lives and marriages and give wisdom in how to respond.  Thank God for knowing us and loving us, in our current condition.

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